Chapter 7 - The Sewer
Walter didn't hear the voices again for a long time. That, of course, meant that Walter was hearing random things in his head. Walter was still suspicious that the voices reflected some truth. It must have some connection with the organized fires. Wait, what? Of course not! If he was imagining things, it couldn't be related to the fires at all. What was Walter thinking?
Walter thought about all this as he ate breakfast. The breakfast consisted of some simple bread. He thought he got the hard bread and the moldy cheese, but Alice told him he got the moldy bread and the hard cheese.
It was in the middle of Winter, which was, for Walter, good. He loved snow. Everything turned from green to white overnight! Even better, the schoolmaster had decided that there would be no class today, due to snow. Even betterer, Walter liked throwing snowballs, especially at his horse.
Walter thought about all this as he ate breakfast. The breakfast consisted of some simple bread. He thought he got the hard bread and the moldy cheese, but Alice told him he got the moldy bread and the hard cheese.
It was in the middle of Winter, which was, for Walter, good. He loved snow. Everything turned from green to white overnight! Even better, the schoolmaster had decided that there would be no class today, due to snow. Even betterer, Walter liked throwing snowballs, especially at his horse.
There was a guest today. It was not an elf or a dwarf. Today the visitor was a hobbit. The hobbit was a bit shorter than Walter, and his feet didn't touch the floor when he sat down. He had curly brown hair and wore no shoes. The hobbit did indeed look like a child. Strangely, the hobbit easily cleared both his plate and his goblet. Apparently he liked food a lot.
Walter looked at his food. There was quite a bit less than there was when he last checked. There was no dropped food on his part of the table (nor the hobbit's as he'd licked it all up). Walter had not eaten much of his food either. He'd picked at it. There's only one logical answer, thought Walter. It must be...
Alice! She must have stolen my food!
Guess again, Walter. He appears not to have heard me...
"Why'd you steal my food, Alice?" said Walter.
"Huh?" a surprised Alice answered back. "I didn't steal your food."
The hobbit smiled behind Walter's back.
"It was that guy!" exclaimed Alice. The hobbit tried to act casual. Walter turned around.
"You should've asked me if you wanted food!" said Walter to... Lord Leo.
It seems that Walter has got it wrong again.
"Huh?" a surprised Leo answered back. "I didn't steal your food."
The hobbit smiled behind Walter's back.
"It was that guy!" exclaimed Lord Leo. The hobbit tried to act casual. Walter turned around.
"You should've asked me if you wanted food!" said Walter to... his plate.
Let's fast-forward a bit.
After a while, the hobbit, who still hadn't been discovered, took out a pipe, and lit it with a match. He blew a beautiful white ring of smoke. It went all the way to the ceiling, and everyone watched in amazement as it flew around the room, never breaking. At last it sailed out the exit and vanished out of sight.
"How did you do that?" Everyone asked.
"Never mind, I'll show you later," the hobbit said. "I must speak with Lord Leo."
"Okay then," Lord Leo said. "Let's hear it, then."
"I was thinking," began the hobbit. "Could we set up a trade fair? I've heard your treasury is running low.
"Yes, it has," answered Lord Leo. "It has much less gold than usual, after we spent most of it repairing the kitchen."
"I thought that if we held a trade fair, we would both benefit!" said the hobbit.
"Is your treasury running low too?"
"No, no,no. Hobbits don't have treasuries," said the hobbit. "We don't live in castles. I live in a nice little hole a mile away."
"Alright! I demand 10% of your profit," said Lord Leo, and added quietly," Who'd want to live in a hole?"
"Allright then," said the hobbit.
"Wait, I can't open the market without knowing your name!" Lord Leo said.
"Oh right! I guess I have short-term memory. My name's Drogo Underhill, nice to meet you!" The hobbit said, and went out the door to set up the trade fair.
The trade fair was great, to say the least. He'd gotten 20 dollars this time. The fair's only drawbacks were that they were noisy, dirty, and before Walter realized it, he only had 10 dollars. Another pickpocket! Grrrr!
Walter spent the rest of the money quickly to make sure they weren't taken (and regretted it immediately because there was some really good food just ahead).
Walter headed towards the place where he practiced his combat skills every day. But then, something really bad came over Walter. It was really really really really really bad.
Walter had to go to the restroom! It was doomsday!
Walter reluctantly shuffled toward the restroom.
The restroom was horrible. There was a stone floor with small holes to let liquids seep in and get drained away. The restroom, more often called a garderobe had not-so-comfortable bumpy stone seats that felt cold when you sat on them, and the smell coming out of the middle of it would make anyone pass out from stinkiness, and then fall down an 80-foot long shaft, where waste decomposed. In short, the restroom was not a very pleasant place.
"Yes, it's almost time."
"Soon, da castle shall be mine!"
"You mean ours."
"Yeah, dat's wat I said. Mine!"
Walter could hear the voices in his head again. Walter listened on.
"Anyways," said the first voice. "We need uh plan B, y'know, in case plan A doesn't work."
Walter was surprised to hear this in his own mind, because he didn't get all this stuff about As and Bs. As you know, language was not one of his strong suits.
"And an escape in case when we get caught," continued the first voice.
Walter wondered what all of this meant. Was he predicting the future? Was he going insane? He probably was insane, because the voices seemed to be coming from down the toilet.
"Wait, what?" said Walter.
Walter poked his head into the hole, as far as he could go, without being stinkified. He was quite used to it by now, though it still smelled really bad. Walter could smell the waft of the dirty shaft, even through his mouth, and if you can taste the air, it means you definitely shouldn't smell it. The voices got louder. Oh no! Thought Walter, using his limited deductive reasoning. - some guy is trying to take over the castle!
Walter quickly pulled his pants up, and rushed down to the ground level, and dashed outside.
Walter was met with a blast of cold from outside. The snow was thicker than when he'd went to the restroom.
Walter went to the stables and lay down on the ground. There were the sounds again. Walter realized what it was that he'd been hearing. He wasn't insane after all! Yes! That was the most important thing! Oh, wait, it wasn't. Oops, for a moment Walter had forgot about the evil guys. The sound was coming from the sewer! What a clever way to meet in secret.
Walter got up and looked around for an entrance besides the garderobe. Quickly, he spotted an entrance. It was fancy, green, and Walter remembered going through it many times. Wrong door, that was the main entrance to the keep. Walter looked around again.
He turned circles, and walked right into Stormbringer, who was so white that, being covered with snow, he looked gray. All horses have a blind spot right in front of them because their eyes are at the sides. Stormbringer couldn't see Walter, and for a moment he panicked. Walter quickly marched into view and put his hand on Stormbringer to tell him that he was there. Walter was too focused on finding an entrance to the sewer to notice that Stormbringer wasn't even in his stable.
Walter continued to search for a sewer entrance as the snow continued to fall. Soon he found an entrance. It was brown with rust. Definitely not the main entrance to the keep. There was an equally rusty handle. Walter grabbed at the handle. Immediately bajillions of rust particles flaked off. Walter pulled the handle. There was a creak that was so loud that you must have been able to hear it a mile off. Walter slipped inside the hole, grunting very loudly.
There were rusty, bumpy ladders, and Walter grabbed them and started down. Down, down, down he went. Walter went down about 6 feet (he's six feet under!). Suddenly, he missed his footing. He was left hanging by his hands. Walter couldn't get back onto the ladder! He started to lose his grip. He let go, and down, down, down he fell. A bad way to die! Thought Walter as he fell. Walter landed on his feet. Nothing happened. No great pain. Walter reached up, and realized that he couldn't have fallen more than 6 inches.
The sounds of the 2 conspirators were echoing through the sewer. Walter wiped the rust off his hands, and tried to take a closer look at the tunnel. It was almost pitch black. Every few feet, there was a beam of sunlight from another sewer entrance, but that didn't help much. And wow, it was stinky down there! Walter was smelling years and years of waste dropped down garderobe pipes and being decomposed. Not a very sweet smell.
The sounds were coming from somewhere to Walter's leftish side, and that's where he wentish.
He hadn't traveled so far enough that he couldn't remember where the entrance was. That didn't matter anyway, because there were tons of entrances right above him. He turned a corner, and he saw bright torchlight. At least it seemed bright from the gloom of where Walter was. Against the wall, Walter could see the shadows of 2 men sitting down.
"I think we should send a fake letter from a neighboring castle," said one person.
"How 'bout that Walter Crewe guy's father?" said the other guy.
"We could do that. You'll be the messenger, and then we can take over the castle when the stupid lord of the castle is gone."
Walter had a silent fight with himself. One voice in his head, Walter's "neutral" voice, kept on repeating, "Lord Leo's not stupid!"
Another voice, that Walter regarded as the negative voice in his head, said that he should stay there and eavesdrop. Walter respected the negative voice, because it helped get him out of many sticky situations. Then again, it got him into some too. That voice wasn't bad. It was just negative.
The positive voice said he should sneak out of the sewer and report the intel he had received. The positive voice wasn't necessarily good either. Walter trusted it more, but he never got any fun when he only listened to the positive side.
The neutral side couldn't decide which side to take. Walter visualized the two voices having a fight. The fight was fierce. The negative side cornered the positive side, but the negative slipped, and the positive side kicked the negative thought in the face. The negative thought lay on the ground for 10 seconds. Knockout.
Walter made a step back to the entrance. Then he made another step. There was a small splashing noise.
The two shadows halted. Walter stopped moving and tried not to breathe. The breath might echo.
"Whuzzat!" hollered one person.
"Shhhhhhh!" said the other. "The echoes here are loud. Lord Leo might hear us. It was probably dripping water or some poo."
Walter tiptoed back towards the entrance. Suddenly he tripped over a smooth stone, and with a SPLASH and a "Woah!" Walter splashed into the water, filled with poo. Ugh!
"Now don't tell me dat was a bucket of water and a stone dropping inta the water!"
"It probably was, but let's see!"
Walter ran for it, and reached the entrance and furiously climbed the ladders.Walter went about halfway up, and looked down. The two guys groped for Walter's feet. In the dark, Walter couldn't make out their faces. Walter kicked at one person's head. He couldn't tell if he'd hit his mark or not, but there was an "OW!" like a medieval Michael Jackson a second later. Walter scrambled up the ladder, with the bad guys on his heels.
Walter scrambled up the last bit of the ladder, and opened the hatch.
"It's the darn hobbit!" said one bad guy.
A brownish hand caught Walter's leg as Walter climbed out of the sewer. Walter kicked hard, and squished his dirty shoe into the person's head again (which told the bad guys that it wasn't the hobbit, as hobbits didn't wear shoes). Walter quickly slammed the door into someone's masked face. Walter heard an "oof!" from the people as they tumbled down the entrance. Walter paused to gain his breath. This was a mistake, as the sewer people climbed up the ladder again. Realizing that the hatch was opening again, Walter ran over with his wooden lance, and thrust hard into the entrance. With another "oof", the people fell down again.
Walter ran before the people could see him again. Walter ran all the way to Lord Leo's room, and slowed down, and prepared his manners in case Lady Loreena or Alice was there. Walter knocked, and walked in. He saw that Lord Leo was the only one there, sitting at the supergreen comfy squashy chairs, and immediately started panicking. Walter grabbed the door, and saw people's shadows coming up the green stairs. Walter slammed the door and bolted it right in the bad guy's face. Walter believed that the door actually did hit someone's head.
"Umm, what's going on?" asked Lord Leo.
Walter looked at his food. There was quite a bit less than there was when he last checked. There was no dropped food on his part of the table (nor the hobbit's as he'd licked it all up). Walter had not eaten much of his food either. He'd picked at it. There's only one logical answer, thought Walter. It must be...
Alice! She must have stolen my food!
Guess again, Walter. He appears not to have heard me...
"Why'd you steal my food, Alice?" said Walter.
"Huh?" a surprised Alice answered back. "I didn't steal your food."
The hobbit smiled behind Walter's back.
"It was that guy!" exclaimed Alice. The hobbit tried to act casual. Walter turned around.
"You should've asked me if you wanted food!" said Walter to... Lord Leo.
It seems that Walter has got it wrong again.
"Huh?" a surprised Leo answered back. "I didn't steal your food."
The hobbit smiled behind Walter's back.
"It was that guy!" exclaimed Lord Leo. The hobbit tried to act casual. Walter turned around.
"You should've asked me if you wanted food!" said Walter to... his plate.
Let's fast-forward a bit.
After a while, the hobbit, who still hadn't been discovered, took out a pipe, and lit it with a match. He blew a beautiful white ring of smoke. It went all the way to the ceiling, and everyone watched in amazement as it flew around the room, never breaking. At last it sailed out the exit and vanished out of sight.
"How did you do that?" Everyone asked.
"Never mind, I'll show you later," the hobbit said. "I must speak with Lord Leo."
"Okay then," Lord Leo said. "Let's hear it, then."
"I was thinking," began the hobbit. "Could we set up a trade fair? I've heard your treasury is running low.
"Yes, it has," answered Lord Leo. "It has much less gold than usual, after we spent most of it repairing the kitchen."
"I thought that if we held a trade fair, we would both benefit!" said the hobbit.
"Is your treasury running low too?"
"No, no,no. Hobbits don't have treasuries," said the hobbit. "We don't live in castles. I live in a nice little hole a mile away."
"Alright! I demand 10% of your profit," said Lord Leo, and added quietly," Who'd want to live in a hole?"
"Allright then," said the hobbit.
"Wait, I can't open the market without knowing your name!" Lord Leo said.
"Oh right! I guess I have short-term memory. My name's Drogo Underhill, nice to meet you!" The hobbit said, and went out the door to set up the trade fair.
The trade fair was great, to say the least. He'd gotten 20 dollars this time. The fair's only drawbacks were that they were noisy, dirty, and before Walter realized it, he only had 10 dollars. Another pickpocket! Grrrr!
Walter spent the rest of the money quickly to make sure they weren't taken (and regretted it immediately because there was some really good food just ahead).
Walter headed towards the place where he practiced his combat skills every day. But then, something really bad came over Walter. It was really really really really really bad.
Walter had to go to the restroom! It was doomsday!
Walter reluctantly shuffled toward the restroom.
The restroom was horrible. There was a stone floor with small holes to let liquids seep in and get drained away. The restroom, more often called a garderobe had not-so-comfortable bumpy stone seats that felt cold when you sat on them, and the smell coming out of the middle of it would make anyone pass out from stinkiness, and then fall down an 80-foot long shaft, where waste decomposed. In short, the restroom was not a very pleasant place.
"Yes, it's almost time."
"Soon, da castle shall be mine!"
"You mean ours."
"Yeah, dat's wat I said. Mine!"
Walter could hear the voices in his head again. Walter listened on.
"Anyways," said the first voice. "We need uh plan B, y'know, in case plan A doesn't work."
Walter was surprised to hear this in his own mind, because he didn't get all this stuff about As and Bs. As you know, language was not one of his strong suits.
"And an escape in case when we get caught," continued the first voice.
Walter wondered what all of this meant. Was he predicting the future? Was he going insane? He probably was insane, because the voices seemed to be coming from down the toilet.
"Wait, what?" said Walter.
Walter poked his head into the hole, as far as he could go, without being stinkified. He was quite used to it by now, though it still smelled really bad. Walter could smell the waft of the dirty shaft, even through his mouth, and if you can taste the air, it means you definitely shouldn't smell it. The voices got louder. Oh no! Thought Walter, using his limited deductive reasoning. - some guy is trying to take over the castle!
Walter quickly pulled his pants up, and rushed down to the ground level, and dashed outside.
Walter was met with a blast of cold from outside. The snow was thicker than when he'd went to the restroom.
Walter went to the stables and lay down on the ground. There were the sounds again. Walter realized what it was that he'd been hearing. He wasn't insane after all! Yes! That was the most important thing! Oh, wait, it wasn't. Oops, for a moment Walter had forgot about the evil guys. The sound was coming from the sewer! What a clever way to meet in secret.
Walter got up and looked around for an entrance besides the garderobe. Quickly, he spotted an entrance. It was fancy, green, and Walter remembered going through it many times. Wrong door, that was the main entrance to the keep. Walter looked around again.
He turned circles, and walked right into Stormbringer, who was so white that, being covered with snow, he looked gray. All horses have a blind spot right in front of them because their eyes are at the sides. Stormbringer couldn't see Walter, and for a moment he panicked. Walter quickly marched into view and put his hand on Stormbringer to tell him that he was there. Walter was too focused on finding an entrance to the sewer to notice that Stormbringer wasn't even in his stable.
Walter continued to search for a sewer entrance as the snow continued to fall. Soon he found an entrance. It was brown with rust. Definitely not the main entrance to the keep. There was an equally rusty handle. Walter grabbed at the handle. Immediately bajillions of rust particles flaked off. Walter pulled the handle. There was a creak that was so loud that you must have been able to hear it a mile off. Walter slipped inside the hole, grunting very loudly.
There were rusty, bumpy ladders, and Walter grabbed them and started down. Down, down, down he went. Walter went down about 6 feet (he's six feet under!). Suddenly, he missed his footing. He was left hanging by his hands. Walter couldn't get back onto the ladder! He started to lose his grip. He let go, and down, down, down he fell. A bad way to die! Thought Walter as he fell. Walter landed on his feet. Nothing happened. No great pain. Walter reached up, and realized that he couldn't have fallen more than 6 inches.
The sounds of the 2 conspirators were echoing through the sewer. Walter wiped the rust off his hands, and tried to take a closer look at the tunnel. It was almost pitch black. Every few feet, there was a beam of sunlight from another sewer entrance, but that didn't help much. And wow, it was stinky down there! Walter was smelling years and years of waste dropped down garderobe pipes and being decomposed. Not a very sweet smell.
The sounds were coming from somewhere to Walter's leftish side, and that's where he wentish.
He hadn't traveled so far enough that he couldn't remember where the entrance was. That didn't matter anyway, because there were tons of entrances right above him. He turned a corner, and he saw bright torchlight. At least it seemed bright from the gloom of where Walter was. Against the wall, Walter could see the shadows of 2 men sitting down.
"I think we should send a fake letter from a neighboring castle," said one person.
"How 'bout that Walter Crewe guy's father?" said the other guy.
"We could do that. You'll be the messenger, and then we can take over the castle when the stupid lord of the castle is gone."
Walter had a silent fight with himself. One voice in his head, Walter's "neutral" voice, kept on repeating, "Lord Leo's not stupid!"
Another voice, that Walter regarded as the negative voice in his head, said that he should stay there and eavesdrop. Walter respected the negative voice, because it helped get him out of many sticky situations. Then again, it got him into some too. That voice wasn't bad. It was just negative.
The positive voice said he should sneak out of the sewer and report the intel he had received. The positive voice wasn't necessarily good either. Walter trusted it more, but he never got any fun when he only listened to the positive side.
The neutral side couldn't decide which side to take. Walter visualized the two voices having a fight. The fight was fierce. The negative side cornered the positive side, but the negative slipped, and the positive side kicked the negative thought in the face. The negative thought lay on the ground for 10 seconds. Knockout.
Walter made a step back to the entrance. Then he made another step. There was a small splashing noise.
The two shadows halted. Walter stopped moving and tried not to breathe. The breath might echo.
"Whuzzat!" hollered one person.
"Shhhhhhh!" said the other. "The echoes here are loud. Lord Leo might hear us. It was probably dripping water or some poo."
Walter tiptoed back towards the entrance. Suddenly he tripped over a smooth stone, and with a SPLASH and a "Woah!" Walter splashed into the water, filled with poo. Ugh!
"Now don't tell me dat was a bucket of water and a stone dropping inta the water!"
"It probably was, but let's see!"
Walter ran for it, and reached the entrance and furiously climbed the ladders.Walter went about halfway up, and looked down. The two guys groped for Walter's feet. In the dark, Walter couldn't make out their faces. Walter kicked at one person's head. He couldn't tell if he'd hit his mark or not, but there was an "OW!" like a medieval Michael Jackson a second later. Walter scrambled up the ladder, with the bad guys on his heels.
Walter scrambled up the last bit of the ladder, and opened the hatch.
"It's the darn hobbit!" said one bad guy.
A brownish hand caught Walter's leg as Walter climbed out of the sewer. Walter kicked hard, and squished his dirty shoe into the person's head again (which told the bad guys that it wasn't the hobbit, as hobbits didn't wear shoes). Walter quickly slammed the door into someone's masked face. Walter heard an "oof!" from the people as they tumbled down the entrance. Walter paused to gain his breath. This was a mistake, as the sewer people climbed up the ladder again. Realizing that the hatch was opening again, Walter ran over with his wooden lance, and thrust hard into the entrance. With another "oof", the people fell down again.
Walter ran before the people could see him again. Walter ran all the way to Lord Leo's room, and slowed down, and prepared his manners in case Lady Loreena or Alice was there. Walter knocked, and walked in. He saw that Lord Leo was the only one there, sitting at the supergreen comfy squashy chairs, and immediately started panicking. Walter grabbed the door, and saw people's shadows coming up the green stairs. Walter slammed the door and bolted it right in the bad guy's face. Walter believed that the door actually did hit someone's head.
"Umm, what's going on?" asked Lord Leo.
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