Chapter 3- a day in the life of Walter
Walter got up from the dusty ground. He'd been in the castle for a week, and so far nothing bad had happened. Walter's least favorite thing to do was learning to read and write from the schoolmaster, who was not a bad person, but was just plain boring. At least Walter got about half an hour of extra sleep. Lord Leo's wife tried to teach Walter how to sing and dance but it was no good because Walter was horrible at that sort of thing. Whenever he tried to go high, he went lower, and when he tried to dance, he tripped over his own feet.
The Lord Leo also started teaching Walter the basics of combat in his spare time. His most frequent piece of advice was "stay alive". He explained to Walter that the stories of heroes charging into battle straight into all the enemies and coming out untouched was not very likely to happen. Leo also taught Walter how to ride a horse, and how to practice combat by himself. The key was to use a quintain, which was a wooden dummy. When something hit the shield, the dummy would flail around. Walter's job was not to get hit by the dummy, which was what just happened to Walter when he was practicing jousting one fine day.
Walter walked back to his horse, remounted, then charged once again at the dummy. This time he aimed his lance at the body instead of the shield to see what would happen. There were 3 seconds to impact. 2. 1. CLUNK THUD! The clunk was the lance hitting the dummy, who seemed to be getting smarter, and the thud was Walter on the ground.
Walter picked himself up, and stumbled back to his pony. His horse was very white with a white mane and a white everything. Even the saddle was white! He'd named him Stormbringer because it sounded really cool. Walter was very satisfied with Stormbringer, because Lord Leo had told him he was very fast for a horse this young, and it appeared that Stormbringer was quite strong too.
Walter climbed onto his horse, and charged again. Walter decided to try hitting the shield again. Walter thrust with all his strength, which is to say, without much strength, as he was not that strong. The quintain immediately swung around and hit Walter hard on the chest. Walter sailed off the saddle once again, but this time Walter was prepared for his landing. With a backwards flip and triple axle, he landed perfectly on the ground, on his feet. He immediately strolled back to Stormbringer.
This is the last time, Walter thought, and got onto his pony. He dug his heels into his pony's side. He didn't want to use spurs, because he imagined it would be painful for the horse. He charged and prepared his shield, holding it right in front of him. His heels went farther in, and then farther. The next moment seemed in slow motion. Walter's lance struck the wooden shield very hard, and snap went the long stick. Walter was caught off guard, and the sword hit his shield with full force. This time Walter didn't fall off. He flew off! Walter landed in the most uncomfortable gymnastic position possible, trying really really really hard to breathe. He gasped. He wheezed. He stumbled back to his pony and led him to the stable, half holding the lead to keep himself standing, then he coughed all the way to his room.
The next morning, he ate a very good breakfast, though he was still regaining his breath. He went to the classroom, where he was supposed to learn reading and writing, but slept instead. The schoolmaster, who had unfortunately had 20 straight years of perfect attendance, was obviously there already, waiting to start his droning sound.
"How are you?" asked the schoolmaster, but Walter only heard "hooreeyoo?".
"Yes, I did my homework," Walter replied.
"IMenthooreeyoo?"
"I'm fine."
"Gu, lestartuday leven," said the schoolmaster, and he went on to talk about reading and writing and math and what you should eat if you wanted to fart less, but Walter was already fast asleep.
After the nap, Walter went to lunch, reporting to Lord Leo that he'd learned how to write the letter A, and tried to write the letter "A" on his napkin, but ended up with an upside-down O. Alice, who'd already learned "A", laughed and wrote the real "A" for Walter, who recognized the letter immediately. As "O" (upside down).
Walter had barely regained his breath, but he knew he had to keep practicing. Today, he used the low dummy, who was not as smart, to practice his sword skills. The best thing about quintains was that there were very few visible attack patterns, so it was perfect for training. The dummy-fighting rules were simple: hit the other guy 3 times and you win!Walter gripped his wooden sword tight, and swung at the shield, as it was supposed to be done. The dummy's shield withstood the sword, of course, and counterattacked with it's sword, quivering this way and that.
Walter caught the blow on the edge of his shield, and the dummy lunged for another attack. This time, he took the blow right in the middle of his shield, and lunged to attack again. By a lucky chance, the smart dummy parried with its sword and swiped a sidearm, hitting Walter on the side.
Walter stepped out of reach of the dummy, caught his breath, then attacked again. This time the sword hit the smarty on the chest, but the smart dummy, or the smarty, quickly recoiled, and knocked Walter down. The score was now 2-1 with the smarty winning and the human losing. Walter attacked again, but his hit was blocked by the shield, and the dummy's sword merely brushed Walter's shoulder, which didn't count as a point. Walter hit hard on the shield and parried the wooden object's sword. Walter quickly swiped as hard as he could with his wooden sword. The sword hit the smarty's neck, and as it was screwed on loosely, it flew into the air, and sap flew everywhere. The head landed with a thunk, and the smarty, no longer having a head, and so no longer having a brain, became a dummy again. The dummy seemed to not be dead yet, because it was still standing, so Walter kicked it in the chest, and it fell on its back. By Walter's own rules, decapitations counted as immediate wins, probably so that Walter could actually occasionally win.
The next day was Sunday, which was church day and market day too. The minister, Mr. Fow Z., was so religious, he was wearing stained glasses. Walter didn't pay much attention in church either, but at least he learned much more from it than from the schoolmaster.
The Lord Leo also started teaching Walter the basics of combat in his spare time. His most frequent piece of advice was "stay alive". He explained to Walter that the stories of heroes charging into battle straight into all the enemies and coming out untouched was not very likely to happen. Leo also taught Walter how to ride a horse, and how to practice combat by himself. The key was to use a quintain, which was a wooden dummy. When something hit the shield, the dummy would flail around. Walter's job was not to get hit by the dummy, which was what just happened to Walter when he was practicing jousting one fine day.
Walter walked back to his horse, remounted, then charged once again at the dummy. This time he aimed his lance at the body instead of the shield to see what would happen. There were 3 seconds to impact. 2. 1. CLUNK THUD! The clunk was the lance hitting the dummy, who seemed to be getting smarter, and the thud was Walter on the ground.
Walter picked himself up, and stumbled back to his pony. His horse was very white with a white mane and a white everything. Even the saddle was white! He'd named him Stormbringer because it sounded really cool. Walter was very satisfied with Stormbringer, because Lord Leo had told him he was very fast for a horse this young, and it appeared that Stormbringer was quite strong too.
Walter climbed onto his horse, and charged again. Walter decided to try hitting the shield again. Walter thrust with all his strength, which is to say, without much strength, as he was not that strong. The quintain immediately swung around and hit Walter hard on the chest. Walter sailed off the saddle once again, but this time Walter was prepared for his landing. With a backwards flip and triple axle, he landed perfectly on the ground, on his feet. He immediately strolled back to Stormbringer.
This is the last time, Walter thought, and got onto his pony. He dug his heels into his pony's side. He didn't want to use spurs, because he imagined it would be painful for the horse. He charged and prepared his shield, holding it right in front of him. His heels went farther in, and then farther. The next moment seemed in slow motion. Walter's lance struck the wooden shield very hard, and snap went the long stick. Walter was caught off guard, and the sword hit his shield with full force. This time Walter didn't fall off. He flew off! Walter landed in the most uncomfortable gymnastic position possible, trying really really really hard to breathe. He gasped. He wheezed. He stumbled back to his pony and led him to the stable, half holding the lead to keep himself standing, then he coughed all the way to his room.
The next morning, he ate a very good breakfast, though he was still regaining his breath. He went to the classroom, where he was supposed to learn reading and writing, but slept instead. The schoolmaster, who had unfortunately had 20 straight years of perfect attendance, was obviously there already, waiting to start his droning sound.
"How are you?" asked the schoolmaster, but Walter only heard "hooreeyoo?".
"Yes, I did my homework," Walter replied.
"IMenthooreeyoo?"
"I'm fine."
"Gu, lestartuday leven," said the schoolmaster, and he went on to talk about reading and writing and math and what you should eat if you wanted to fart less, but Walter was already fast asleep.
After the nap, Walter went to lunch, reporting to Lord Leo that he'd learned how to write the letter A, and tried to write the letter "A" on his napkin, but ended up with an upside-down O. Alice, who'd already learned "A", laughed and wrote the real "A" for Walter, who recognized the letter immediately. As "O" (upside down).
Walter had barely regained his breath, but he knew he had to keep practicing. Today, he used the low dummy, who was not as smart, to practice his sword skills. The best thing about quintains was that there were very few visible attack patterns, so it was perfect for training. The dummy-fighting rules were simple: hit the other guy 3 times and you win!Walter gripped his wooden sword tight, and swung at the shield, as it was supposed to be done. The dummy's shield withstood the sword, of course, and counterattacked with it's sword, quivering this way and that.
Walter caught the blow on the edge of his shield, and the dummy lunged for another attack. This time, he took the blow right in the middle of his shield, and lunged to attack again. By a lucky chance, the smart dummy parried with its sword and swiped a sidearm, hitting Walter on the side.
Walter stepped out of reach of the dummy, caught his breath, then attacked again. This time the sword hit the smarty on the chest, but the smart dummy, or the smarty, quickly recoiled, and knocked Walter down. The score was now 2-1 with the smarty winning and the human losing. Walter attacked again, but his hit was blocked by the shield, and the dummy's sword merely brushed Walter's shoulder, which didn't count as a point. Walter hit hard on the shield and parried the wooden object's sword. Walter quickly swiped as hard as he could with his wooden sword. The sword hit the smarty's neck, and as it was screwed on loosely, it flew into the air, and sap flew everywhere. The head landed with a thunk, and the smarty, no longer having a head, and so no longer having a brain, became a dummy again. The dummy seemed to not be dead yet, because it was still standing, so Walter kicked it in the chest, and it fell on its back. By Walter's own rules, decapitations counted as immediate wins, probably so that Walter could actually occasionally win.
The next day was Sunday, which was church day and market day too. The minister, Mr. Fow Z., was so religious, he was wearing stained glasses. Walter didn't pay much attention in church either, but at least he learned much more from it than from the schoolmaster.
Market day was Walter's favorite day, because he didn't have to learn reading or writing. Also, people from all over would open little stands selling all sorts of bits and bobs, like really fake magic wands for really dumb kids (and dummys). Walter was given 10 dollars to spend, and he could use them to do all sorts of things. There were musicians, jugglers, and performers doing all sorts of tricks and stunts. If Walter liked the performance, he would would throw money into the performer's box. That day, Walter gave a dancing bear all 10 dollars, but immediately regretted it, because there was really delicious food a little ways off. Walter spent a lot of his time trying to get extra free samples by flipping his shirt inside out to pretend to be someone else. There were a lot of pickpockets and thieves at market day, so everyone except people with no money had to keep a close lookout on their belongings, as Walter had found out last week. Walter had caught a pickpocket trying to pick his pocket after he'd used all his money, and after the pickpocket started mumbling something, another pickpocket came and picked the first pickpocket's pocket. The money seemed to go from one pickpocket to another without an end.
